As animalistic as humans can be, we are also rational, thinking emotional beings, which is why we read books about improving our sex lives instead of just fornicating like dogs in heat. Your mind intensifies the experience of sex (but thinking too much can sometimes do the opposite). Anatomically,many areas of your brain are responsible for sexual arousal.
The central region of your brain contains the limbic system, in which the amygdala, hypothalamus, and septum reside. The amygdala controls our emotional state and affects how we interpret sexual stimuli. The hypothalamus regulates sexual behavior, mediates how we feel pleasure, and is involved with sexual and emotional expression.
The septum is sometimes referred to as the “pleasure pathway” because of its involvement with sexual pleasure. Your cerebral cortex, the lumpy, bumpy layer of your brain (the gray matter) “matters” in your ability to speak, to learn, to think, to perceive, and to make choices. It is the home of sexual fantasies, daydreams, and memories.
We cannot and should not completely separate our brains from our genitals. No matter how young or old you are, your mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Finding Your Favorite Sex Fantasy
Almost all of us fantasize at one point or another, and the type, frequency, and usage of our fantasies are limited only by our imagination. Anything goes when it’s in your head; it’s normal and healthy to fantasize.
Using fantasy as inspiration, variation, and motivation for your sexploration. Maybe fantasy gets you horny and ready for your partner, or maybe you fantasize to help you get off with or without a partner. Your fantasies may be violent, kinky, fairy-tale-like, voyeuristic, action packed, comic, or tragic; they may involve past or current lovers, clergy, teachers, cartoon characters, same- or opposite-sex partners, multiple partners, total strangers, or farm animals.
After learning about sexual fantasies, you should check out 500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets, a must-read guide book on improving your sex life. Click here to read my review of it.
The most common fantasies involve having sex with someone other than your partner, forced encounters (being overpowered or “taken”), and watching or being watched. You can fantasize about having an affair, seducing
a teacher, having your way with your favorite celebrity, or same-sex sessions.
Fantasies are portable; you can take them with you wherever you go. Time and place offer no barriers to what happens in your mind, so fantasize on the subway, at school, before going to sleep at night, in the shower, driving to work, at a meeting, instead of cleaning the car, or when shopping for groceries.
Some people have one reliable fantasy that always works for them; others create new ones that change constantly based on their current needs and desires. You can use your fantasies to enjoy sexual activities that you would never want to experience or to explore an alternate personality, sexual identity, or gender role.
Where to Get Inspiration
Just as with any creative endeavor, you may need inspiration for fantasy from time to time. Creative fantasy ideas are available from your dreams, your past experiences, romance novels, straight or gay erotica,movies,Web logs—really from anywhere. Jack Morin, in his recommended book The Erotic Mind, claims that understanding our peak sexual experiences and fantasies offers the greatest opportunity for self-discovery and, consequently, revitalized sexual experiences.
He discusses how anxiety, guilt, and anger, generally thought to have a negative impact on sexual arousal, often turn out to be aphrodisiacs and why dynamic and risky is usually more arousing than static and safe.
One possible issue with using erotica or porn for fantasy is that some of the images may be disturbing or degrading and, because they are staged and acted, may set up unrealistic expectations.
Keep in mind that fantasy is not reality, that you don’t need to emulate what you see, and that part of sexploration is discovering what turns you off as well as what turns you on. If you are sharing your erotica or porn with another person as a way to get turned on, be sure that what you are using is seductive to all parties involved.
After reading about sexual fantasies, check out 500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets, a must-read guide book on improving your sex life. Click here to read my review of it.
Hello! My name is Daniel Oakley and I'm from Phoenix, Arizona, USA. I've been married for 7 years to Anna, the love of my life. I've always been very comfortable with my sexuality and love experimenting in bed (and out of it). I set up this website in order to share tips that will help couples get a better sex life.